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Author Notes:

lirvilas 11th Feb 2022, 9:01 PM edit delete
lirvilas
apologies for the dearth of uploads, it's been a bad bad bad three days

I updated with a small voting incentive
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Comments:

jamie59 11th Feb 2022, 9:11 PM edit delete reply
jamie59
That name & that injury he should never be near anything sharp without pants & a Cup.

Of coarse after amputating his little head twice how safe is his big head?
lirvilas 12th Feb 2022, 7:45 PM edit delete reply
lirvilas
question:

if you use a cup of milk to store a tooth that gets knocked loose

then in what liquid are you supposed to store a detached penis?
sherbettcat 11th Feb 2022, 9:28 PM edit delete reply
sherbettcat
Shaky hands...with danger!

...I was just informed by the guitar riff guy to go hell.
lirvilas 12th Feb 2022, 7:43 PM edit delete reply
lirvilas
gonna have to start paying royalties!
sherbettcat 12th Feb 2022, 7:57 PM edit delete reply
sherbettcat
I think Safety videos send the wrong message to people: "Watching other people fuck their own shit up is hilarious!" rather than "Be careful doing the thing!"
Microraptor 11th Feb 2022, 10:46 PM edit delete reply
Microraptor
I don't know if I would trust Dr. Ashton with fixing my nether regions...

On the other hand though, perhaps she gives the guy a titanium-reinforced cyborg penis, so that this doesn't happen a third time...
lirvilas 12th Feb 2022, 7:47 PM edit delete reply
lirvilas
this was totally a comments section driven development, dude was supposed to lose a hand

but

reattaching missing uh limbs might factor into a very big plot point this year that Dr. Ashton will have a hand in
Johnney 11th Feb 2022, 11:39 PM edit delete reply
Johnney
What a job !
lirvilas 12th Feb 2022, 7:48 PM edit delete reply
lirvilas
so

if chopping that kinda stuff off is "emasculating"

does this make Dr. Ashton a "mascular surgeon"?
Johnney 13th Feb 2022, 12:13 AM edit delete reply
Johnney
Probably...
Ariane Eldar 12th Feb 2022, 2:18 AM edit delete reply
Ariane Eldar
Pfft, I thought they were doing Anya-cosplay...
lirvilas 12th Feb 2022, 7:49 PM edit delete reply
lirvilas
to pull that one off they also need contact lenses and a bad attitude
Thracecius 12th Feb 2022, 3:24 AM edit delete reply
Thracecius
That guy needs to be banned from power tools for his own safety, apparently.

Damn but it gives me the heebie jeebies just thinking about what he did to himself...twice!
lirvilas 12th Feb 2022, 7:49 PM edit delete reply
lirvilas
well, he wouldn't use power tools at all, but he had to start working construction after he got fired from the butcher shop

for the very obvious reason
nunya 12th Feb 2022, 8:02 AM edit delete reply
Is he gaining length, losing length, or staying the same after Dr. Ashton fixes things? If he's gained after the first reattachment, I think it would qualify as a "perverse" incentive to do it the second time.
lirvilas 12th Feb 2022, 7:50 PM edit delete reply
lirvilas
YOU ARE ASKING QUESTIONS THAT SHOULD NOT BE ASKED

hahahahahaha
SchipLover 12th Feb 2022, 8:16 AM edit delete reply
SchipLover
New safety equipment required for Mr. Klopp - Mandatory Blinders.
lirvilas 12th Feb 2022, 8:24 AM edit delete reply
lirvilas
LOL
sigpig 12th Feb 2022, 10:59 AM edit delete reply
sigpig
This is where Maggie's "reanimation techniques" come in...

...

...

...Handy...

(See what I did there?)
lirvilas 12th Feb 2022, 7:50 PM edit delete reply
lirvilas
an unfortunately relevant comment, see note to Microraptor above
sigpig 13th Feb 2022, 9:56 AM edit delete reply
sigpig
Is that a relevant comment, or a revanant comment (zombie-dick)?

For your listening and viewing pleasure: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=byDiILrNbM4

Spelledeg 12th Feb 2022, 9:17 PM edit delete reply
Spelledeg
Second time??? Did the nerve damage from the first time somehow compell Mr. Klopp to stick his dick in a woodchipper??

Aaaaaaaaaa. Side note, very accurate hairnets.
lirvilas 12th Feb 2022, 11:56 PM edit delete reply
lirvilas
there's a metaphor for COVID in there

and yes, I know I'm missing the surgical masks
NeilKapit 15th Feb 2022, 2:30 AM edit delete reply
NeilKapit
Therein lies a tale